The Quest...

So, a few friends of mine (not just my friend over at Xanga, theladyofabundance) have dropped some ideas that a religious quest is not about finding things and that my preoccupation with the whole thing is in vain. Religion is not about the answer; rather, it's about the search. I think I'd really like to comment on that idea. Hopefully by filling out my perspective on the matter I can satisfy a few readers and also help give this blog a bit more direction instead of just random religious ponderings.

There is an old saying in Eastern traditions which goes something like this: The Tao (way) is made in the walking of it. Essentially, one is getting closer to the Divine by searching and although we are on "the way," we should not get disillusioned with thoughts of a finish line. That we are on the way is enough. We are realizing our potential by simply remaining on the path, which only gives way to more questions and more "progress" (I can't quite think of a more nuanced word) on the path.

There is no end, and I think that's part of the beauty and the allure of the entire quest. I'm learning more about myself and the world around me daily by asking questions which have no answer. By searching into the annals of Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism, or whatever world religion I'm captivated by at the time, I'm humbling my ego with the further realization that I can not know the answers to the questions I am constantly asking myself.

What is left after the realization that certain knowledge of the Divine is impossible? Nothing but the certain knowledge that I can love others who are engaged in the same struggles as I am in this tumultuous world. Not only can I love them, but I have a responsibility to do so, and I need to constantly grow in that capacity. We're all in this together. There is no distinct "I" and "you," but rather we're spatially separate variations of the same struggle to find God, and that is why I press on.

My friends, religion should unite us, not divide. We need to ask these questions not to achieve enlightenment for ourselves, to reach Heaven, to find salvation, but rather we need to engage with the reality of these situations in order to better learn how to love ourselves, each other, and the world we live in. Perhaps Nirvana, Heaven, enlightenment, what have you, will be a side effect of the search and the growth of our compassion towards each other, but I think that those who engage religion in order to reach an end of eternal bliss are missing the point and thus robbing themselves of a lot of joy in this world.

It appears in my mind that this type of religion stems from, as the existentialists would put it, the facticity of death. Their motivation is that hopefully, through piety and devotion, we will be able to overcome death and find eternal life. While this thought is intriguing and enticing, I don't think that craving and clinging to life and trying to defeat death through religion is a fruitful quest in terms of joy and compassion for our neighbors. That's certainly not why I do it anymore.

I originally got into studying religion because I wanted to be a pastor. I "knew" that Jesus Christ was the one true way to heaven, but I wanted to be a knowledgeable guy in order to better lead people to Christ. When my core was shaken and my basic beliefs shifted (and that happened for a myriad of reasons), I started groping and grasping at religion in order to discover the Truth (yeah, that's a capital T). What I discovered was that that particular quest was in vain because we humans have a particular faculty of epistemology which just isn't set up for that kind of dabbling into the "noumena" (thanks for pointing that out, Kant). After I got comfortable with the idea of not knowing, I began engaging in religion with a different intent. I just wanted to learn about all the cool things people believe and why. I wanted to learn more about the human condition which drives all of us to look for more than just ourselves. I wanted to learn how to better love my neighbor. I wanted to learn how to better love myself. That, my friends, is a never-ending quest; and that, dear reader, is why I press on in the field of religion.

Observations...

I have two great jobs. In the day, I work in the office for Springfield Ballet filing, copying, labeling, etc. The office is in the Creamer Arts Center, which is probably the coolest environment anyone could ever hope to be in. There's always art on the walls from local artists, opera singers belting, people scurrying about trying to coral a bunch of kids, just lots of good energy. Plus, by working there my ballet tuition is covered, so I can continue to progress for free. Could it get any better?

At night, I work at The Rendezvous, a new coffee shop in Springfield. It's a place with a great decor, a continually growing crowd chock full of wonderful regulars, and it's new, which means it's open to change. I love working at a coffee shop so much.

Anyway, today I went to work at The Rendezvous as I do pretty much every other day. I wasn't feeling too great, but after a few shots of espresso, so food, and some good music things turned around. We got a huge rush of folks in, and I was rushing around trying to get drinks made, dishes cleaned, tables bussed, etc. It was all a bit frazzling. Finally, about an hour or so after the rush started, I had gotten all the tasks taken care of and I had a moment to breath.

It was then that I looked up and saw the coffee shop which I'm so proud of filled with people. Some were studying, others were chatting with friends, some were playing board games; all of them, however, were drinking beverages my team and I had prepared. All of them were participating in the positive atmosphere we strive to maintain. I'm so proud that I get to play a role in people's lives like that. Every time I put on my apron, I'm handed a unique opportunity to make someone's day simply with some common courtesy and a well-crafted drink. That's all it takes. It's awesome! I want to provide that kind of service for people my whole life.

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On another note, I've been pondering religion again.

Now that I'm firmly grounded in my disbelief in original sin and pretty staunchly agnostic (if not entirely unbelieving) as to whether or not Jesus was God, I'm really wondering about the role Jesus would play in my life should I open my Bible back up. I don't need any metaphysical lawyer to get me off the hook for my "sins" anymore, but does that render Jesus nothing more than a moral teacher? If that's so, how is his message any different than Ghandi, Muhammad, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, or any other moral teacher?

Is Jesus nothing more than a misunderstood moral professor teaching us love one another? Every world religion does that. What then does Jesus offer that Krishna does not? Why read the Bible over the Teachings of the Compassionate Buddha? Why not open up the Koran, the Tao Te Ching, or even the Analects? Anyone? I just don't know.

I'd love to hear from differing perspectives on this matter, even though I realize most people who read this blog are going to take my position on these matters. Feel free to email me at jwalter@drury.edu if you don't have a blogger account. I just want some discussion, and hopefully some answers.

A lack of phronesis...

I was driving around last night just to clear my head (a terrible way to do it, I know. I would have ridden a bike, but you can't really let your mind go on a bike like you can in a car). Anywho, I was pondering life and my obsession with my quest for religion. Why do I think about it all the time? What grounds do I have for this search?

I realized something weird: I've never really had a first-hand experience of God. I've never felt like God has answered a prayer, comforted me from a third-person perspective, or anything mystical like that. My experiences with the divine always lie in nature, in the things I see on my bike rides, in sunsets and such. I just have a hard time believing that there isn't anything out there after I see such things, so I quest on looking for whatever "it" is.

I think the notion that I've never experienced a third party entity revealing itself in my life (and believe me, I looked for years with sincere devotion) has led me to believe that God is somewhat removed from my life at least. Either God is removed from personally interacting in my life, or I have an Atman that I haven't realized yet. Any thoughts? Personal experiences?