Wednesday, September 19, 2007

A lack of phronesis...

I was driving around last night just to clear my head (a terrible way to do it, I know. I would have ridden a bike, but you can't really let your mind go on a bike like you can in a car). Anywho, I was pondering life and my obsession with my quest for religion. Why do I think about it all the time? What grounds do I have for this search?

I realized something weird: I've never really had a first-hand experience of God. I've never felt like God has answered a prayer, comforted me from a third-person perspective, or anything mystical like that. My experiences with the divine always lie in nature, in the things I see on my bike rides, in sunsets and such. I just have a hard time believing that there isn't anything out there after I see such things, so I quest on looking for whatever "it" is.

I think the notion that I've never experienced a third party entity revealing itself in my life (and believe me, I looked for years with sincere devotion) has led me to believe that God is somewhat removed from my life at least. Either God is removed from personally interacting in my life, or I have an Atman that I haven't realized yet. Any thoughts? Personal experiences?

No comments: