My Solution...

Okay, so after my last post, anonymous asked me what I'm going to do about the fact that my friends and I often have polar opposite beliefs and that gets us into conflict. That question is way too big to answer in another comment. It'd probably come off a bit brash and not very thought through, so I figured I'd take a little time to outline one of the virtues I try to live my life by.

Through all of my studying and discussing ideas with professors and friends I have learned that I don't really know as much as I think I know. Everything that I have learned in my classes is barely scratching the surface of all of the available knowledge in my particular fields, let alone in the world. I tend to forget that from time to time though. One of my biggest fears is that I'll turn into the stereotypical philosophy majors. You know, the asshole guy who acts like he's better than you because he studies philosophy, somehow giving him the answers to life and giving him permission to impress his values upon you. I really don't enjoy being around that and I know others don't either, so I try to not be that guy.

I think that the desire to be that guy is fairly natural. It's the ego asking to be stroked. I've definitely been that guy before. I think it's a stage most college kids go through once they start getting an (what feels like) in-depth knowledge of their field. We want to say that our knowledge is the right kind of knowledge, that our ideas are the right ideas, etc. When I really spend time thinking about it, it's less about defending my ideas and more about defending myself, like somehow if I have the right ideas I'm justified.

The solution for me is to realize that I don't know much. Since I've been studying Confucius, I'll quote a few passages which have helped me lately (thanks, Panza). 2.17: “To know what you know and know what you don’t know - this then is wisdom.” I'm working on knowing what I know and knowing what I don't know. Realizing that I don't know everything, I try to approach conversations like the one I outlined in my last post by asking myself what I can learn from this person that I vehemently disagree with. Perhaps my last post didn't do a good job of showing that (and perhaps I didn't do a good job of it at all when I had the conversation), but I'm working towards that end.

4.10: "Exemplary persons in making their way in the world are neither bent on nor against anything; rather, they go with what is appropriate." In knowing that I don't know much, it would be inappropriate for me to settle permanently in any position and defend that position as if it is objectively "right." Right now I think that loving people, working towards a mindset of compassion, and trying to establish harmony are the goals I want to work for. There is almost definitely more than one way to get there. I need to keep my mind open and learn from other people.

So that's my answer, anonymous and Citizen. I think I should probably not stop hanging out with people who's opinions differ from mine for a few reasons. If I don't hang out with them, how am I ever supposed to learn from them? If I think they're wrong, how am I ever going to have any hope of changing their minds if I don't continue to be around them? I don't ever intend on taking their particular position. It doesn't seem to be in line with what I think is the reason for being alive, but that doesn't mean that the people themselves are bad, you know?

C'mon, Professor. Throw me a bone here...

I've noticed something strange about my relationships with my professors lately. It's a really interesting phenomenon that I think stems both from the fact that I look up to my professors intellectually and from the fact that my classes are so small that I get to be fairly personal with all of them.

The thing I've noticed is that I really care about what they think. When we finish studying a religion or learning about a new philosopher, I really want to know how they feel about it and how it affects them. I know that I should be making up my own mind on these issues, but I really want to know how my role models feel about this stuff, you know?

Today, for example, we finished talking about George Berkeley in my Modern Philosophy course and I found myself wanting to ask Dr. Panza, "So do you think he's right? How does he affect you and your view of the world?" I don't know whether it's appropriate of me to ask questions like that to people who are only being paid to teach me the material, but it's difficult sometimes.

I think that because of the small classes and with how often I see the professors both in and out of class, I feel like we're involved in each other's lives as more than just a teacher and student relationship. To steal from Confucius, I feel like it's more of an elder friend and younger friend relationship. I feel like my professors play a "mentor" role more often than a "professor" role.

I just wish every now and then they'd throw me a bone and tell me whether they think a theory is earth shattering or if it's all wet. It'd help me figure out what I believe a bit more to know how much weight philosophies carry with the people I look up to. Perhaps I'll just put a professor on the spot one of these days and see how they react.

Cultural Relativism...

First of all, welcome to November! It's a beautiful day and I'm ready to welcome in this new month (and get that extra hour of sleep on the 4th for daylight savings!).

I wanted to post about a conversation I had the other day during lunch with some new friends. Since school started, I have become pretty good friends with five or six of the international students, especially the new freshman students. They're really fun! Most of them are Chinese, though there are a few from other East Asian countries. Regardless, they all have very different ways of encountering the world than I do. They're much more community oriented, self-less, relaxed, happy, stress free, and just generally very nice people.

Yesterday, I sat down with them for lunch. I like eating with them because no matter how my day's going, a chat with these guys can perk me up. They're really optimistic people. When we sat down, I started asking about their majors and why they were doing what they're doing, which led to some interesting discussion.

One of them said that she started as a psychology major and is now doing finance hoping to become a CPA. The other one said that she was also hoping to be a CPA, but she wasn't excited about it at all. My initial reaction was, "Well, if you don't like it, change it! Do what you want to do!" Truly, that is not what these people are about and it blew me away.

They started discussing their goal here, which isn't to find they're "purpose" and figure out how they can be happy when they grow up. They said they wanted to find a job where they can make money and be successful because they have a duty to be able to provide for their parents when they get out of college. What?! That idea seemed totally foreign to me. Their joy isn't going to be about what THEY are doing or what THEY want, but from being able to provide for the people who have given them life and a future.

It reminds me a lot of Confucian ethics in China. I've known about the Confucian ethic of filial piety, which revolves around the family unit and respect for your elders and superiors. Knowing about it and experiencing it first hand are two different things. It'd be very interesting to sit down and chat with these kids some more, which I'm sure I'll do. They're different from me, which is great. I'd love to figure out where their fulfillment comes from in this system and how they feel like they fit into it. Very, very cool.

The pictures, by the way, are of a dinner I attended with my international friends. Once a month we go to an international exchange called the FRIENDS dinner. Very fun!