Okay, so after my last post, anonymous asked me what I'm going to do about the fact that my friends and I often have polar opposite beliefs and that gets us into conflict. That question is way too big to answer in another comment. It'd probably come off a bit brash and not very thought through, so I figured I'd take a little time to outline one of the virtues I try to live my life by.
Through all of my studying and discussing ideas with professors and friends I have learned that I don't really know as much as I think I know. Everything that I have learned in my classes is barely scratching the surface of all of the available knowledge in my particular fields, let alone in the world. I tend to forget that from time to time though. One of my biggest fears is that I'll turn into the stereotypical philosophy majors. You know, the asshole guy who acts like he's better than you because he studies philosophy, somehow giving him the answers to life and giving him permission to impress his values upon you. I really don't enjoy being around that and I know others don't either, so I try to not be that guy.
I think that the desire to be that guy is fairly natural. It's the ego asking to be stroked. I've definitely been that guy before. I think it's a stage most college kids go through once they start getting an (what feels like) in-depth knowledge of their field. We want to say that our knowledge is the right kind of knowledge, that our ideas are the right ideas, etc. When I really spend time thinking about it, it's less about defending my ideas and more about defending myself, like somehow if I have the right ideas I'm justified.
The solution for me is to realize that I don't know much. Since I've been studying Confucius, I'll quote a few passages which have helped me lately (thanks, Panza). 2.17: “To know what you know and know what you don’t know - this then is wisdom.” I'm working on knowing what I know and knowing what I don't know. Realizing that I don't know everything, I try to approach conversations like the one I outlined in my last post by asking myself what I can learn from this person that I vehemently disagree with. Perhaps my last post didn't do a good job of showing that (and perhaps I didn't do a good job of it at all when I had the conversation), but I'm working towards that end.
4.10: "Exemplary persons in making their way in the world are neither bent on nor against anything; rather, they go with what is appropriate." In knowing that I don't know much, it would be inappropriate for me to settle permanently in any position and defend that position as if it is objectively "right." Right now I think that loving people, working towards a mindset of compassion, and trying to establish harmony are the goals I want to work for. There is almost definitely more than one way to get there. I need to keep my mind open and learn from other people.
So that's my answer, anonymous and Citizen. I think I should probably not stop hanging out with people who's opinions differ from mine for a few reasons. If I don't hang out with them, how am I ever supposed to learn from them? If I think they're wrong, how am I ever going to have any hope of changing their minds if I don't continue to be around them? I don't ever intend on taking their particular position. It doesn't seem to be in line with what I think is the reason for being alive, but that doesn't mean that the people themselves are bad, you know?
1 comment:
I was not thinking that you should never associate with those people, but suggesting that you also cultivate friends who are like-minded. Of course, they are not necessarily bad people. But I think it is not true that all approaches to the world are equally healthy or helpful. Learn from them, sure. Try to offer them alternative views, sure. But insist on only hanging out with people who have a fairly ignorant take on the world? I can't see how that is good for you.
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