Nationalism and Violence...

Last night I had a very interesting experience. It was one which I will probably never forget and I think it might help shape a little bit of who I want to become.

I'm an RA, so when problems arise in the dorms, I have a responsibility to deal with them. Another piece of useful information is the fact that Drury University, where I'm getting my BA, is a wet campus. That means that while it's legal for people of age to drink alcohol on campus, it's also about a thousand times easier for underaged students to drink as well. Everyone in my hall is underaged, and they all tend to binge drink every weekend. (I'm wondering whether this is an American phenomenon or not. It wouldn't surprise me.)

Anyway, last night I was sleeping when I heard a man's voice yelling outside of my room at about 3am. I open the door to find one of the international students screaming at my residents, who had already shut the door and weren't coming out. This international was IRATE. He also (as well as my residents, as I found out later) reeked of alcohol as well, which I'm sure is where most of this controversy stems from.

After getting the international kid back in his hall and talking to my residents, I found out that this all stems from one of the guests that my residents had making fun of the international kid's country. All it was were two drunk guys making fun of the place where they each come from. This got the international so upset that he was willing to step outside and smash this other kid's face in. Perhaps I don't have that strong of a national identity (which makes sense. Who from my generation would be proud to call America home?), but I can't imagine a scenario where someone making fun of my country would drive me to want to physically assault them. It's absurd.

After I talked to my kids, I walked downstairs to put the incident down in the log book so we can have documentation of the whole deal, and I see the international kid sitting in the first floor lobby. Apparently he was waiting for the other kid to come back downstairs so he could finish what they'd started. He told me that if he sees this kid again, no matter whether it was the same night or any time later, he was going to beat him down. Besides the fact that this alarmed me as an RA, it alarmed me as a person.

I was reminded of my parents, sadly. When my big brother and I would be walloping each other, they'd tell us, "Violence doesn't solve anything. Why do you want to fight?" From the third person perspective that this situation gave me, I could see that they were right. Even if these two guys succeeded in knocking each other's teeth out, would it solve the question of whose country was better? No. It would just make each other hate each other's country more. Nobody would win. If, in opposed to fighting, one of them said, "Look, I'm sorry. This is stupid. I'm sorry for offending you," I bet that it would go a heck of a lot further for international relations.

What I want to remember is this:
A) I'm pretty sure that violence really DOESN'T solve anything. It just creates more problems. No one really wins in the way that they would like to.
B) Nationalism is really stupid and chauvinistic. If we are really supposed to care about each other (like every religion states), then we need to get past it.
C) Binge drinking + slander = problems.

I decided not to title this post. I sat there for a minute trying to think of what title I would bestow upon this thought, but nothing would work. So, you'll have to read to figure it out.

Today was move-in day here at Drury, and I'm an RA. I met my 19 new residents whom I am responsible for during the course of this next academic year. For some reason, the gravity of that thought didn't really hit me fully until today. Foolish, I know. I thought I would be able to do my own thing and try to handle them on the side, doing this job like a checklist. It is apparent now that that will not suffice, and here's why:

There are 19 kids walking into this freshman experience with me as their first guide. They're lost, confused, don't know who they are or what they want, missing home, missing their boyfriends and girlfriends, scared of what they may or may not experience, the list goes on. These kids aren't just the aforementioned list. They're people too. They're people who are bringing into this experience all of the baggage from the past 18 years of their lives.

If statistics are correct, I have about 3 girls in my hall right now who have been sexually abused in their past. About 10 of my residents will have come from broken or breaking homes, give or take a few. A fair amount of them have already experimented with drugs and alcohol, had sex, and been forced to handle other situations that a person of that age shouldn't ever have to encounter. So not only am I dealing with a lost group of kids by nature of the fact that they're leaving home for the first time to experience an academic and social challenge unlike anything they've ever experienced, but a good lot of them were lost long before I ever met them today.

I suppose I just have a bleeding heart for these kids. I want to tell every girl that no matter what, she's beautiful. I'd look like a total creep because our society doesn't really allow that, but it's something I want them to know about themselves. I want to tell every guy that he doesn't have to have womanize his peers. It's okay to want to be a nice guy and treat others with respect. You don't have to be a bad-ass.

The thing is, my words would do no good. Only through acting these sentiments out and treating my residents with the utmost care and respect will they get it. I guess I'm just afraid that I'll mess it up somehow. I am in a position to greatly impact these kids. I could do it in a negative way, a positive way, or just go through the checklist of RA duties and make nothing of this opportunity. Which way will I go? What will happen? Only time will tell.