Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Nothing to do....


You know what I've found is the hardest thing to do in life so far? Nothing. The hardest thing I've had to learn is that sometimes I have to do nothing. Worse still is when I want to do something and I can't for whatever reason.

Here I'm thinking about this in two different ways.

The first is when you could be doing something but are doing nothing instead. My new house doesn't have a TV. No DVD player. I find that I'm often just sitting at my table with a book or sitting on the front porch watching people walk by. It's strange. It's been hard to teach myself to slow down and not be such a busy body. It'd be much easier for me to have a list of things a mile long to do all night (even if I wasn't particularly thrilled with the list) than to do nothing instead. Still, I think it's a very important skill to learn.

The other more difficult way of "doing nothing" is when there is something that's really stressing you out in your life but you have no power over it. You can do nothing besides just worry, which is in no way productive. There are a few situations like that in my life right now and it's absolutely killing me. I want to help, I want to do something, I want with all of my being to just fix whatever's going on. But I can't. And I know it. I have to learn to just breathe and accept that fact.

Both of these types of "doing nothing" require that the person who is doing nothing to have a certain amount of comfort in their own skin. When you aren't able to occupy yourself with anything, you're left alone with yourself and all of your insecurities. It'll either drive you crazy or teach you how to embrace yourself for all that you're worth.

I'm figuring this out. My biggest allies right now are my friends who are willing to just be there and listen to me and God who gives me comfort. Only a few weeks left until school starts and I can distract myself all over again! Truly though, I'm thankful for this time. It's really healthy and therapeutic for the time being. I'm glad it's not permanent though!

1 comment:

Chris Panza said...

I honestly think that it is in these very ways that "gadgets" (Facebook, email, iPods, Wiis, etc) -- while on their own harmless in many ways -- taken together overwhelm the individual. When you are slowly brought up in that sort of culture, you are taught that "doing nothing" is intolerable. You have to "keep on rotating distraction".

Think of Kierkegaard's "rotation method". Same stuff. Gadgets make rotation easier, and more accessible as a methodology for everyone.